Surviving the Holidays (Support Group Reflections)

The festive season is purported to be the season of joy and there is no denying it can be that.  However, for many of us this time of year presents some unique challenges - particularly if you live with ADHD.

This week the adult support group explored the importance of remembering the positives, "the wins".  It was a great topic of conversation, which came about as a result of the December theme of surviving the holidays.  This has provided some reflective thinking amongst the team about recalling how you've persevered in the past and remembering your fortitude in dealing with past difficulties. 

This can help you find the strength to manage your current challenges. So we wanted to share a few phrases to help get you through the tough times.  Because healthy self talk can help you feel better and inspire you to get through difficult times. 

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The reality is though...

....only one person can really help you overcome life’s difficulties - you. The most effective way to comprehend the truth of this is to conduct an internal dialogue with yourself. That way, you will be able to get to grips with any situation and find the courage and inner strength that resides within you to take the right step forward.

When you are going through tough times, remember...

I have what I need to get through this

Thinking things like "I can’t do this" or "This isn’t fair" will cause you to feel defeated. Rather than insist you need more, remember what you already have. If you’ve made it this far in life, you clearly have some skills, tools, and resources already in place.

Living according to your values is what really matters

There are going to be people who won’t like you and times when people will disagree with the decisions you make. But your job isn’t to please everyone. Be brave enough to live according to your values, even when that means making unpopular decisions.

Failure is part of the road to success

Failure isn’t fun, but beating yourself up over it won’t help. Each time you fall down, it serves as proof you’re pushing yourself to new limits. Remember that each failure is an opportunity to grow stronger and become better.

All I can do is my best

Demanding perfection from yourself will do more harm than good. Whether you’re interviewing for a job that you really need, or you’ve got one last shot to try for that promotion, insisting there’s no room for error will make your anxiety sky-rocket. A little self-compassion will help you perform at your peak.

Five years from now this won’t matter as much as I think it will

Keep temporary problems in perspective by reminding yourself that the emotional pain, anxiety, or turmoil won’t last forever. Many of today’s crucial decisions and major worries won’t actually matter that much a few years down the road.

I’m stronger than I think

A serious health problem or the loss of a loved one can be very difficult to handle. But catastrophic predictions like "I’ll never recover from this" or "I won’t ever be happy again" will only drag you down. Adversity often reveals hidden inner strength you never knew you had.

I can handle feeling uncomfortable

It can be tempting to stay inside your comfort zone, but getting through tough times often requires you to do something different. Although emotions like fear, embarrassment, and disappointment are uncomfortable, they won’t kill you. Be willing to face those emotions head on and you’ll gain confidence in your ability to cope with discomfort.

I am in control of how I think, feel, and behave

Blaming other people for what’s going on in your life won’t help your situation. Acknowledging that you’re in control of how you think, feel, and behave can empower you to either make the best of your circumstances, or create positive changes in your life.

I’ve been knocked down before and I can get back up again

Look back at the times you’ve persevered before. Recalling your fortitude in dealing with past struggles can help you summon the strength to deal with current problems.

 

Positive affirmations alone won’t necessarily change your life, but they can help maintain your emotional resilience and mental strength.  For those times when your emotional resilience feels out of control, you are not alone - reach out to one of the many support and crisis care phone lines, including but not limited to LADS, Beyond Blue, headspace, Lifeline.

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